This article is not a physics lecture. It has something to do with parental and peer pressure, a thing often experienced by students all across the world. Notice, I say all across the world and not just India. This is because the phenomenon is uniformly distributed across the globe. In India, it's manifestation is in the form of exams and the need to earn six figure incomes whereas in the west, it is seen in the form of the need to belong somewhere or be recognised for what you are.
The fallouts of this are immediatley obvious. Pressure is not good for everyone. Not everyone has the capability to withstand it. So, people succumb to it. Take the case of the student who recently committed suicide in IIT Bombay. He was aghast at having failed in some examination/s. And apparently, he did not have the self-confidence or belief to face his parents or his friends, which is why he chose the easy way out. I know that it's wrong to speak in a negative way about the deceased, but I cannot help it. I have no sympathy for the person who chooses to commit suicide. If there is anyone I do feel sorry about, it is the parents of the boy. What a waste of their efforts in bringing him up all these years.
Parental pressure is a term coined by certain psychiatrists who connived together, to fool people into parting with their hard earned money. It is so easy to blame somebody else for what you are today. And none better and easier to do the same with than your very parents! Because my parents forced me to take up Medicine, I am a failure today. Because my father was a strict disciplanarian, I am the under-confident person that I am today. We get to hear such comments all the time. I agree that some parents are obsessed with their child's future. In the sense that they often end up taking decisions for the child and in such cases the above statements may be valid. Still, there is a limit to being pushed around. In the formative years, the parents' decisions are probably for the best. However, they need to be questioned if they become too controlling or obtrusive. If a person says that he/she chose Engineering not out of his own choice but because of his parents' wishes, he/she can only be pitied. By the time you are 18, you are "supposed" to be mature enough to take decisions for yourself. And if you allow yourself to be pushed around even then, nobody can help you.
And then there are the people out there who go by what their friends say. They are no better off than those who go by what their parents say! Apparently, the boy who committed suicide had an aptitude for Computer Engineering. He however chose to take up Physics at IIT Bombay over Computer Engineering at IIT Guwahati. I am willing to bet that he had been told by his seniors or "friends" that IIT Guwahati is no good. While seniors' and friends' advice can come in handy, you need to make sure where the person who is giving you the advice stands. Does he/she have a personal agenda? What could be the motive, if any, of the person criticising some place or person? Find answers to these questions and then decide for yourself if the person is genuine or not. And if you fail in recognising someone as genuine, never mind. There will always be a next time. If you choose a wrong person, you can commit it to memory to ensure that you will not repeat the same mistake again.
I am sure that people will raise objections against this post. I am sure they will fall into one of the two categories that I have described above.
1 comment:
This is indeed a very serious issue!!
I think many a times such unfortunate situations can be blamed on to lack of communication between people. It is very important set your priorities right and more importantly stick to them. In India many a times it's the so-called "image" or one's self-esteem that is given more importance.
Probably the guy who committed suicide didn't open up and finally succummed under the pressure.
If he would have been able to talk about it to someone, that would have probably prevented him from taking such a drastic step.
Another mindset that needs to change in India particularly is that once a person chooses a particular stream after 12th it's not necessary that you live with it all your life. For instance this guy, if he was interested in computers he could always get back to it ....you can always excel in what you like ...and there's never any perfect timing to start what you like to do. So what was the need to be unhappy about being in Physics..probably you know something more than a computers person would know ..and as I see it it's certainly an advantage!!
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